12.6 Trust


Trust. Have you ever thought about the power of this small and simple word? It’s one of the rarest words you use and really mean it. Compare it with love or with hate. How many people have you ever told “I love you” or “I hate you” and you actually meant what you said?
And now think about the sentence “I trust you”. How many people have you ever told this? It’s nothing you just say incidentally; if you say it, you actually mean it.
Trust is a very powerful word. It means to show someone your vulnerability, to ignore the impulse to be strong all the time. You know that he won’t hurt you, so you’ve got the possibility to tell him your feelings and your thoughts. You don’t even have to tell them, sometimes it’s enough to know, that someone would listen to your words.
Imagine the importance of trust. How would the world look like if no one would trust anyone? I don’t want to talk about suspicion and mistrust, now I just want you to think about the inconceivable loneliness. We all take it for granted, but we don’t think about it, what a wonderful present it is to have people around us we can trust. A child trusts his parents, no matter what they do. Then it grows and quite often it starts to doubt. But many children still trust their parents if they are grown up, further they have got their friends who are for many people something like a second family. Parents, brothers, sisters, friends, boyfriends, girlfriends… They all are people we don’t want to miss and I believe that everyone knows one person he trusts.

"Das bin ich", sagt sie uns.
Doch das ist sie nicht.
Sie sagt es, sagt es nicht
vielleicht, vielleicht auch nicht.

"Das ist sie", sage ich.
Doch das ist sie nicht.
Sie ist mehr, so viel mehr
doch ich weiß es nicht.

"Bin ich das?", fragt sie sich.
Doch das ist sie nicht.
Sie fragt sich, fragt sich nicht
sie weiß es, weiß es nicht.

"Das bist du", sag ich ihr.
Doch das ist sie nicht.
Sie erzählt mir, erzählt mir nicht
vielleicht, vielleicht auch nicht.

11.1 Dear Sue


Dear Sue,
I can imagine that you are surprised to read a letter from me. I write to you, because I want to tell you something. Yes, I could talk to you, but if I write it down you can have a look at it later again.
Do you remember the day we say us the first time? It was my first day at my new school and I was very nervous. Everywhere were people and I thought none of them would like me. But then I saw you, standing in front of the classroom and saying something. It had to be very funny because all the people around you were laughing. I was fascinated; you seemed to be someone who was loved by everyone. And then you looked at me. I wanted to go away, I was so nervous when you walked towards me! “Hey, I’ve never seen you before. What’s your name?” I told you and when the teacher came you took me with you.
You showed me the school and after some time your life. I worried that you would find me boring after some days, but you wanted to know all those things about my family, why we moved and so on. You gave me the feeling to be important and you saw something inside of me that nobody has ever seen before.
One day you said that you’ve never had a better friend than me. I was unbelievably happy and I’m still smiling when I think of this time. Now it’s some years later and many things have changed. But we are still best friends and I want to tell you that I’m proud to have such a wonderful friend right beside me.
I hope we will have many years like these ones!
Love, Amy

12.2 Stay Strong


The landscape is passing by. On top of the bridge the little girl looks amazed out of the window. While the train is passing the bridge the girl watches the cars and houses and people. They look like toys. Toy cars, toy houses, toy people.
“Daddy?” Her father turns around towards her. He seems to be tired, his whole body is exhausted and there are some worry creases on his forehead. “Yes honey?” “Why is Mommy like this?” The man hesitates; he knew she would ask this question. “Well, you remember the night some weeks ago, when the ambulance was at our house?” “Yes”, she answers, this night she’ll never forget, the memories stick in her mind. “Yes, they took Mommy.” In the eyes of her father she can see the pain. “But honey, they just did it because they help her. Mommy is very ill, she had something like an accident.” “Like me, when I broke my arm?” “No honey, her accident was much worse. It will take a long time until she’s fit enough to come home again.” While he is saying these things, it becomes clear, that he doubts. Actually he is not sure if his wife will ever come back. Without saying anything the girl stares outside. Owschlag, she noticed this train station when they drove to the hospital in the morning. Not much time left and they will be home. She takes her teddy and hugs him. “Dad?” “Yes honey?” The way he says this shows his fear. He is afraid that she will ask something he doesn’t know the answer for. But he knows that many questions will follow.“Why does Mommy have to lie there? And don’t tell me she is sleeping. All these…gadgets around her…” “You’re right my darling, but it is like sleeping. The doctors help her so sleep.”
The seven-year-old girl looks at her teddy when she asks with tears in her eyes: “Will she ever wake up, Dad?”  Silence. “I hope so”, he thinks. “I’m sure she will!” he finally answers. “Why are you sure, Daddy?” “Because she loves you very much. You and your sister and your brothers. She loves you!” Now he has tears in his eyes, too. They were right; it’s too early to let her see her mom. It was a mistake to take her with him. He looks at his little daughter. Seven years old. Now she has to grow up fast. She has to take care of her little brothers.
Today she grew up more than it is good for her.
“You have to be my good little daughter, ok? Now we all have to stick together. And please don’t tell your sister about the way Mommy is looking and about your worries. She is too young.” She doesn’t look at him. “Stay strong, honey, always remember that you have to stay strong.”
Landscape passes by. Two serious eyes of a seven-year-old child watch the cars and houses and people. She can’t really understand what happened and she has no idea what is going to happen, but she knows that she will never forget. “Stay strong”, she repeats, “stay strong.”

12.5 Stupid smartphone


Some years ago - the first mobile phone for private use appeared on the market. Wow, I can call my parents if I missed the bus. Look, I can send you a message and you can answer in some minutes. You can play with yours? Let me take a look, please. Oh, it’s snake, I love this game. I could play it the whole day. You’re in level 9? Well, I’m already in level 11. While I play, there’s a sound coming out of my phone. My parents are annoyed, but I like it. It’s kind of funny. Nearly as funny as the sound of an incoming call. Deeededeeedeeede.
Deeededeeedeeede. I hate this noise. I really do. My little brother is standing in front of my bed, holding his iphone. Oh, I have to explain, that’s my dad’s old one. My brother got a new app I guess. Yes, I’m right. Something stupid about annoying sounds. Deeededeeedeeede. …how I miss the good old times.
Breakfast. He’s skyping with his girlfriend. Of course she’s got an iphone, too. I know, everybody has one these days. Or at least a smart phone. I remember something a friend said yesterday: Smart phones, stupid people.
Dad asks how the weather will be. Instead of taking a look to the newspaper my brother shows his phone. Yes, I’ve forgotten that talking isn’t necessary. Or taking a look through the window. It’s snowing, well, not that difficult to guess how the weather will be. I grab the news paper, accompanied by an uncomprehending head-shake. My brother just nods at his iphone.
“ Lennard, please go and look for your sister. She has to eat her breakfast.” Mom is always getting nervous we might starve to death. Just some minutes later Debby is coming down the stairs. “Thanks for the message bro.” She nods towards Lennard. “You’ve sent her a message just for tell her that breakfast is ready?” Another uncomprehending head-shake while he answers: “ Ehm, of course Mom. That’s much easier.”
While Debby is eating she shares her wisdom concerning our food. As many calories as… It’s healthy, it’s unhealthy… What would we do if her iphone won’t tell us these things?!My brother supports her with searching cruel stories at the internet about people who died while eating their croissants.
Dad’s checking his schedule while Mom is looking at Facebook if there is any accident or something else. She doesn’t like if we miss just one minute of  the lessons. Yes, even my Mum got an iphone and of course she ‘s at Facebook.
My dad takes us to school. I look at Lennard. Seems like he has reached level 91 in a really stupid game. I look at Debby. She is really busy chatting with some friends. I look at Dad. He is talking to a client vi a head set.
Everyone is busy. But everyone is just paying attention to all the things his or her iphone says. I’m sitting in the back seat and I can’t imagine why everything became this way. Dad, Debby, Lennard. They are all connected to the world but at the same time that’s what makes excludes them from society. They don’t recognize it, but I do. They don’t recognize anything, they’re concentrated at their iphones with headphones in their ears. I know they are listening to music and Dad is listening to his client. They don’t recognize the silence. They don’t recognize that we haven’t talked for a long time. That we haven’t paid attention toourselves for quite a long time. They haven’t even recognized that I dyed my hair. Thanks for your attention, dear family. Thanks for stealing communication, dear iphone. Smart phones, stupid people.
Deeededeeedeeede. My phone rings. I’ve still own that one I had many years ago. I still enjoy playing snake. I answer the phone and tell a friend why I’m not at school yet. We’re stuck in a traffic jam because of the big amount of snow. “My iphone hasn’t told me anything about it!” I smile. Stupid smart phones.

11.3 The Wall

Imagine a wall. It’s grey and constant, it seems insuperable. You are standing there and you are looking at the wall. Your whole life you’ve fought and tried to negotiate it. And now you are standing here, bare trees behind you, the leaves already fallen. Someone has already swept them, but now they are distributed, in all directions, away with the wind. Snow is falling down, you shake. 
It’s really cold and you are standing here, alone in front of a drastic wall. Tears run down your pale face while you are desperately calling. “Help me!”, you’re calling. “Help me; I can’t do it on my own!” Snow is falling down, more and more, you’re not able to identify all you see because of the fog. 
Wait, you can hear something. Hopeful you are calling a second, a third time. The wall grows, it gets bigger and bigger. You are one step before giving up, now you’re screaming and crying, desperately, you haven’t got control of your voice anymore. Some seconds ago there was someone…
You have to concentrate yourself, now you can hear them, the voices which depart laughing. You’re not laughing with them, you’re alone. The sky gets dark, the wall comes closer. Help me! It’s difficult to breath. Your fingers are unable to move because of the coldness and your legs hurt. With your last power you try to call, a whispered, desperate, unheard “Help!”

11.4 At the beach



I’m at the beach. Slowly I walk along the North Sea, the music is blaring in my ears. Waves break next to me and spume splashes on my feet. It seems as surreal as the rain. My hair sticks wet on my forehead, but  I’m not trying to remove it, I just keep on walking  and listen to the music. This is the soundtrack, the music of this moment. My eyes notice a stone, beautifully smooth and glimmering it stands out from the other stones everywhere. I keep it before the next wave is going to take it with it. Carefully but unhesitantly I climb on some rock fragments und stand on top of a small cliff, having a wonderful  view at the never ending sea. I let my mind wander and  think about to be carried away by the waves, to a place far away where no one knows me and where I can live in an endless summer.  With a smile on my face I lift my arms, I’m flying, I’m falling into the wild water. Playing with the thoughts. The bass accompanies the strength of a wave which bounces at the stones and rains over me. I’m smiling.